I am struck by the degree to which public frenzy over the important issue of sexual harassment and assault in our society has moved public response in a direction that is not productive. Making matters worse, those who represent us in Congress seem to jump into the storm with knee jerk responses that ignore the rule of law that they are supposed to represent. We need to stop, take a breath, and remind ourselves who we are, and what we want to achieve from the actions we take. No matter what one’s political stripe, we all want to be taken seriously, be treated fairly, to treat others as we wish to be treated, and to have redress for injustices done to us. Can’t we be more thoughtful about how we engage as we work together on making our society better?
I am a woman. I am also a forensically trained psychiatrist. I have been subject to sexual abuse ranging from frotterism on the subway, to molestation during private music lessons, and during a medical exam. I’ve also been subject to the more benign roving hand, inappropriate comments, etc. None of what we women has experienced should have ever happened, and I don’t condone it. But not every allegation made is legit either. In my work, I have talked to numerous people who have been accused of things they did not do, and know that unfounded accusations can ruin lives. In an out of control manipulative political climate, it is way too easy for charletains to lob spurious claims lacking concrete verifiable details, merely to stir up trouble and possibly take out political enemies.
Our country has some important foundational principals that are meant to keep us all safe and free. The presumption of innocence until proven guilty, the right to face one’s accusers in a court-like setting, and to be judged by a jury of one’s peers. We, the public have no right to judge most of the situations we hear about because all we really know is a sound bite from the media, nothing more, nothing concrete. I daresay none of us would like to have people appear out of our pasts and make public allegations against us, especially if we are in a climate where all of our words would be politicised and treated with suspicion from the get go. Moreover, our courts have codified the punishments for various misdemeanor and felony behaviours related to sexuality. They are usually time limited. What I see happening right now is crowd judgement and the meting out of life sentences of banishment that affect not only the accused but their families, and constituents as well. How does this fit with our fundamental legal principals and our sense of personal and American justice?
It’s also important to recognise that events which occured many years ago took place in a very different socio-cultural melieu, but are now are being interpreted with a current day sensibility. We need to remember that just as our cultural expectations have changed, the people we accuse may also have changed. That is a good thing. I’ll say it again, that is a good thing. Don’t we teach our children to learn from their mistakes and become better people as a result? Imagine how bad it would be if we couldn’t look for the world to improve over time. Making judgements of yesteryear behaviors with today’s understanding isn’t really fair.
I am also concerned that the puppetmasters who have been trying to socially engineer a different America may be using women. There are enough of us who have been ill treated, who have long felt anger about what we have experienced. We are easy to exploit. I don’t want to be used that way. And if we get stirred up into angry crowds of self-righteous accusers, are we really going to feel vindicated, or feel that justice is served because we throw people we otherwise value out of jobs in which they are working hard for the greater good. Perhaps that’s what the social engineers would like to see happen. In any case, it isn’t going to make any of us feel better about what we individually experienced, and isn’t the punishment for sexual harrassment and misbehavior better better dealt with between the parties involved, whether privately or in a court-like setting?
Lastly, we women should remember that there are a fair number of our own sex who exploit both men and women, and there are those who harrass and harm LGBTQ folk. The waves of women against men accusers is nearly devoid of these types of claims. Given how permissive the current climate is for people to come forward, I wonder why that is.